OUR OUTLOOK ON OTHERS

There are two fundamental views from which we choose when we look at each other. This primary view constitutes the foundation for our behavior in terms of how we communicate, make decisions and overall greet and treat each other, which often has very little to do with the other person and can be seen in terms of politics and business, as well as in our education and common interdependency in society.

The negative outlook (also referred to as Theory X by McGregor) assumes that all people are lazy, cheating and can not be trusted. In situations at the job, strict control and bureaucratic procedures take precedence over people's needs and what they are communicating. This system of beliefs therefor produces power-plays, with-holding of information or refusal to take responsibility often out of fear. From this point of view one is right and one is wrong, one has the right to advise and command the other. This often produces a stabilization of status quo and a negative feeling of disrespect.

The positive outlook (also referred to as Theory Y by McGregor) assumes that all people are self-motivated, honest and truthful and wants to contribute to the greater good, thus encourages change initiatives, independence and individual empowerment. This view is based on a basic belief of shared trust. From this point of view, solving the problem is more important than debating it, and coaching in a mutual respectful dialogue is encouraged. This often produces more innovations and a sense of positive fulfillment.

Often people's true underlying beliefs are hidden behind a mask of the opposite or is a combination depending on situation and group coherence. When there is too wide of a gap between the two sides, we find another group of belief that becomes learned helplessness and complacency (widely common in Sweden but also here in US).

In order to really being able to walk our talk, it is imminent that we learn how to distinguish the two and see how the respective behavior creates the same result its underlying assumptions are holding. So which kind of society do we want to live in? What are your true feelings of others when they approach you? Do you take responsibility for the consequences you create for another based on your own personal assumptions?