LAUNDERING MONEY?

Have yet to go the US bank and get them to remove the 50 dollar fee on a 18 cent overdraft that became so because of another fee they withdrew without my knowledge. I mean, the thing with a debit card is that there is never supposed to be any overdrafts as it is directly corresponding with the bank when transactions are made. Fees, fees, fees! I can understand it in some way when I am using their services, but I can not understand why I should pay money for a deposit. Isn't that good? When I transferred my Swedish student loan to my American account (because it is easier for me as I don't have to deal with the daily fluctuations of exchange rates and lesser fees from the Swedish bank for foreign use) earlier this spring, I had to pay a fee for receiving them. For good money coming into US that I spend here. Isn't that helping the economy? Fees for something the computers do in seconds. Seeing the little things is important because it adds up.

It used to bother me that I have to pay to do laundry here (1.50 per wash and 1 per dry). In Sweden laundry is always included in the rent and you can just sign up and share the machines with your neighbours in the building. But from an Eco-friendly point of view, it is actually a good thing to pay, because then you think twice before you do a half-full load out of habit, or use both the dryers when one is enough and instead wait a little. I save some and Mother Earth saves more.

Now, that is how money becomes green.

THE NEED FOR MANAGEMENT BY CARE

Started my day by going to the postoffice to pick up my registered mail from "Landstingens Ömsesidiga Försäkringsbolag" with their decision regarding my complaint on my teeth damage caused by the hospital in Sweden where I used to live. It has been more than a month since they made their decision, but at first they didn't want to send it to me (although I am officially emigrated with an US address), so they of course got it in return from my old Swedish address. After one year of waiting on their ruling, I can now read that they have deliberately left out the first facts from my first dentist (that would set the starting point for this case), altered the dates from when I asked for a referral, although they were in the medical records, and asked a physician in a different field, who states: "... it is outside of my field of expertise to decide whether or not loss of teeth are due to the cause...". Therefor the Swedish insuranceagency claims that there are no grounds. Well, yes, if you ask an ordinary physician without any dental knowledge, he can't give you any facts about teeth. How about asking a dentist???!!! That is called common sense, something they apparently lack.

To me it wasn't even about money, it was about taking responsibility on how you treat others. But now, I will appeal and the little deal about just covering for my dental bridge, will now only be a part of whole other damage suit. If they would care, they would have looked for ways to help me recover more quickly and learn ways to improve the healthcare.

The thing is, the covert process in Sweden is that you are considered a "cheating free-riding traitor" if you dare question anyone or anything in the system. The system is like Sweden's own religion, yet when Catholic priests rape young boys, no one thinks its un-ethical to question their behavior and the whole world speaks up. How come I can't question the people responsible for Swedish taxpayer's money, how it has been used (I wanted to pay my own way privately from the beginning, but instead it took three years, including loss of income and lots else), without becoming an outcast? Yet, it validates my moving to the US and another reason to keep doing my research work at HPU, currently working on defining the Eco-Feministic approach to leaderhip.

Here in the US, it might be rougher in some ways, but at least it is up on the table for discussion. It is funny, because today I wrote a comment on a Birthday-note online for President Obama about who is in charge - the state or the companies... An hour later, I opened my American bank statement (which has been annoying me too, because they post fees on a zero balance, making it an overdraft with their own fees and then just adding some more fees, but guess what you can never make money on a negative balance), with a new federal order that I have to authorize the bank for taking out these fees! Love it! You send out a thought, and boom, it comes right back to me here in an instant, because it is easier to find people on my level. So, after crying last night about Sweden, I can now laugh again, thanks to the US President, who apperently listens to his people.
I got lucky because I had some people helping me in the end, but what about those who don't?

JUST ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE

Full moon. Gentle breeze filled my lungs with oxygen as I strolled down Kalakaua avenue last night.

His thoroughness catches my attention as I sit down on a bench a short distance from him. He sweeps the area with an old broom he has hidden in the bushes together with his towel. With his pocketknife he cuts the sausages out of the can in small pieces and blends it together with the rice he got from one of the restaurants on the corner. He adds soy sauce, mixes and align everything on the table in front of him in order. At the nearby water fountain he washes his hands and face, although his clothes has not been washed in weeks. My heart becomes heavy as I too look the other way, while I pray and bless him, bless and bless. What else can I do?

A young couple passes by, giggling and kissing, looking the other way. A group of teens play at the beach daring each other to go into the ocean in the dark. Another sells her body to anyone who wants it at the next block.

He crawls together like a baby underneath the bus stop's little roof. Above him says: "Vacancy".

She goes through the phone booths looking for left over quarters. Above her says: "Waikiki Resort Hotel. Rooms available, lunch special only 4.99."

He asks me: "Do you have a dollar to spare, miss? I say, no I am sorry, I don't. Do you?"

Below a palm tree lies another man, with his bottle of whiskey close to him. "No tents allowed on beaches" says another sign.

Peggy Sue wonders how come her late night shifts at Mac Donald's won't even cover her small studio rent. "Pick a pearl! Only 50 dollars, miss!"

Disillusioned Locals, romantisized Tourists, satirical Haole.

Will I ever feel safe again having experienced both sides?

My pending court case regarding my rent in Sweden has now taken two years, my teeth settlement took one year and has been decided, yet their letter has so far taken three weeks and has not arrived. The Swedish bank rather send my new card to an old address in a country they know I no longer live in, only to get it returned back to them. And I wait... Tomorrow the food bank is open here. Can't get hungry on Wednesdays, only on Tuesdays if you live in Waikiki.

Darwin seem close. It could never happen to you, right?

But the goodness of others here keep me going.

Picture googled and copied from this blog.

ALEXANDRA, P.I.

Remember that old wood sign I found the other night? My instincts told me it was from the 50's and while using my superwoman powers I could visualize it coming from a movie. Going online I did find the words matching the movie "Rain" from 1932 with Joan Crawford. Luckily it was put up on YouTube and there was a similar sign in it:
However, not the one I have. Because mine looks like this:
But, it gets better! I kept investigating and with some valuable input from Pake, Peggy's Picks (who thought it was worth more than her customers would pay) and Aisha Buntin, I was introduced to ideas on where to sell it and on alert for later movies based on the same script. It turns out that Rita Hayworth was here on Hawaii in 1953, shooting the movie "Miss Sadie Thompson", and voila a new possibility is born. Have yet to find that movie though, but I am working on it together with Kaimuki Movie Museum and Tabora Gallery.

What will happen? Will I find out it is indeed a true Hollywood Movie Memorabilia? Is someone playing hooky with me or will I get rich and famous? Stay tuned for the next episode of...

SACRED ENCOUNTERS WITH ANIMALS

So I got a new pet, or maybe it is actually two. The first one snuck in through the kitchen window and is only about an inch. She later moved in underneath my bed. However this morning while I was making it, her mother crawled out from one of my pillows and she was definitely about two inches. She instantly ran down and kind of wondered if she could jump into my purse on the floor but I said no and asked if she wanted to go outside or have some cornchex for breakfast, but apparently she didn't, because she ran in the other direction. They are very cute! And it reminds me of the story my parents told me about how I used to have two Geckos in the ceiling above my bed while we were in India and I was a six month old baby. The question is however, what can I learn? What traits, behavior, legends or type of energy is there here for me to learn? So far I have picked up that I need to see to my dreams more, contain my energy and stay close to the ground. And I did have an intense dream last night, not sure what it said more than an old classmate from 6th grade was in it that I haven't spoken to since then.

What do the wild animals you encounter, tell you?

Apparently we have a big green Gecko outside my door too, but have yet to see her.

THE TELLUSELLE BUSINESS MODEL

Telluselle Living Center will not only be a uniquely designed eco-friendly house, nor only a forum for creating green inventions with a serene spa-ambience for rejuvenation, but will also walk its talk through a new business model. My concept is this:

The house will be owned by the franchise taker, who also work as the local manager. However the rent will not be allowed to be steep but reasonable and I will be the CEO, maintaining quality surveillance and marketing coordination.

The activities will be owned equally in a cooperative organization by all employees working for TLC. Everyone will have the same salary: 10/hour. This shared ownership creates both a transparency and a responsibility for all involved, hence becomes sustainability based on fairness. The independent contractors who wish to remain so, will all be re-imbursed by the same rate per hour (which I need yet to figure out when I get the facts I need about the tax system here in the US). Whenever we become profitable, it will be shared equally. If not, then nobody gets more.

All activities will hold the same price for the customers: 100 dollars for each one-on-one session, 20 dollars for group activities. There will also be a pricing for local organizations, businesses, government subsidies, insured programs and the like, who wish to rent room for their meetings or enroll groups of more than 10 people in TLC activities. Campaigns with membership cards, semester enrollment with discounts etc may be applicable as well.

There will always be people who rather not take responsibility, or wants to promote status quo out of fear of change or have the covert feel of disempowerment hidden behind succesful facades or try to be a part just for the money, but they will not be welcome. The mindset and the right values apart from necessary education, certification and work-experience are mandatory. These, together with customer satisfaction becomes our intellectual capital and what will be measured and presented in our annual reports.

So yes, Mrs Attorney, I am indeed one in a million, who will create not only jobs as I employ US citizens, but create a foundation for which even more businesses can arise. And no, marrying some guy just to get a green card have never been, and will never be, an option for me even if you think that would be easier, so indeed I will find someone else to represent me if need be. I already know a Hula-sister with legal knowledge too ;).

The beautiful leather sofa in the picture is a Natuzzi and can be found at Honolulu Design Center. Two of those in brown will be excellent in Room Earth...

LOOKING FORWARD

Thank you Richard for taking photos.

Thank you Jimmy for sharing Huna with me.

Thank you Nick for making me smile.

Thank you Alan for paying for my laundry.

Thank you Johnny for paying for my prints.

Thank you Carmen for being a rationale negative, fueling my passion evenmore.

Thank you Davis for explaining the American ways and being my friend.

Thank you Spirits for communicating with me.

Thank you Hawaii for sharing your secrets of happiness with me.

Thank you HPU classmates for creative and constructive discussions.

Thank you CSN for approving studentloan for the fall semester.

Thank you Honolulu Design Center for showcasing beauty that makes me feel at home.

Thank you God for allowing me to experience the depths of life.

Thank you Martha for inspiring me to do a new visionboard...
Imua!

HIGH SPIRITED

If there's something weird in your neighbourhood, who you're gonna call...

Richard (photos), Jimmy, Nick and I went for a long walk last night up to the old hospital by Diamond Head. Richard is certain he has encountered spirits and other phenomena up there which made him a little afraid, so we decided to tag along and investigate the place.

My perception at once told me this was a place of many deaths, some miserable and the third floor seemed completely abandoned and sealed off. As I talked to the Security officer and went around the house, we did get some things confirmed. It used to be a mental asylum, now a hospice for terminally ill patients and built around a Heiau (ancient Hawaiian burial ground and place of worship). I did not perceive anything supernatural about the place, but felt a more peaceful and happy energy on the side where the Heiau once was. I sent Light and said apologizes for our intrusion to the Spiritworld and then we went back home. We had fun though - it felt like when I was a 9 year old girl and used to play with neighbourhood boys in a "Detective Club" searching abandoned houses. Richard was intrigued and a little scared, Jimmy was adventurous, Nick tried to spook me, but also handed me a strong scented Pikake flower to see which ear I was going to put it behind... (right for single and left for taken) and I was just trying to hold the group together. I am sure we were a pretty sight :)

Did found a design treasure on our way through Kaimuki on the curb too. This sign... Don't know for sure if it really was made in the 50's (the wood looks old) or if it is done by the local artist who makes these signs new but in ways that looks old, as a nice interior piece that goes in that vintage style that is so popular here. Either way, I hope I can sell it!

The Spirit we share here on this island is worth all the hard times I have (and have had) to endure.

HOW TO TURN AN ORDINARY CAN OF SOUP INTO A DELICIOUS DISH

As I was watching my almost empty refrigerator, I decided it was time to open my can of Campbell Tomato Soup... but instead of just eating that with no gluten free bread either at home, I developed it into a full meal. Add 3/4 water and 1/4 rice milk to make it less tangy, some oregano, diced pieces of tofu and serve with pasta.
Bon appetit!

THE OWL AT WORK

Started my day with a walk in pouring rain. It actually really rained here in Honolulu, but thankfully only for an hour or so, clearing up the air and watering the plants. Found the book that I needed for this week's HPU-assignment, at the Hawaii Public Library, because I already sold my own copy of "International Dimensions of Organizational Behavior" and lost 100 dollars from new (130) to used (30 at HPU Cashback) in two weeks, really should just use the library! This house is built like a maze, felt like I was going in circles, and as I was continuing outside towards the HPU computer room downtown, I could hear a woman's laughter at a distance. Really funny, because there was no-one around! Also when I was pasting the word owl on my new vision board the other day, I "heard" a woman say "Mhm", kind of like she was standing behind me looking over my shoulder and just stating her approval. I turned around, looked outside my window and listened for other noises (such as coming from neighbours) but none. Funny! Or my cellphone gives off a signal for messaging but nothing is coming up on the screen... The Spirits here are everywhere :).

Discussed global policies with my classmates in Organizational Behavior, started filling out an application for an angel investors' network that I found through LOHAS and emailed my neighbour's attorney friend about applying for work authorization a little quicker than my current VISA-rules abide by, so I can start my business asap and/or get an internship with a likeminded non-profit organization or governmental department.

Responded to a Swedish appeal - as I wrote down all that they owe me because of their decisions and their consequences (or I should say indecisiveness), it became ten times more than they think I owe them and that is just what I can prove on paper, then add the stress... And now time to see if I can find someone who can lend me money to do my laundry... while I wait and wait for others' decisions, mail, etc.

People make so many Assumptions..., I wonder why we have stopped asking for the Truth.

TIME TO GET ACQUAINTED WITH BURT!

I started using some other Eco-friendly products for my skincare the other day. I really love this brand - Burt's Bees - because they are very price worthy, easy to find in most stores here, and have a clear and concise label stating their ingredients. Besides, Burt seem to be a retro-cool kind of guy. Smells good, does good and feels good. Oh, don't worry John, I am still using you for my hair. Hush boys, no need to get jealous, you know I really don't like triangle dramas! Now, the question is, why are not more people using these type of biological, natural and eco-friendly products? Shouldn't the question be, why are you using chemical products that are bad for your health, for your wallet and for the environment? Why don't you care more?

UH-OH, I AM TURNING INTO AN AMERICAN!

As I walked down Waikiki today, I met a Danish couple next to an ATM-machine that they weren't sure of how to deal with, so I showed them. We talked for a while and they wanted me to give them some good references for places to see and eat and I shared my gems. (They were from Copenhagen so that is an easy Danish to understand for a southerner Swede). But as I was talking to them, I found myself again and again, having to translate my words from English to Swedish, even blurting out some in English. I do not think in Swedish anymore, I even react for the most part in English (except when I get really angry I use the Swedish F-words). I suddenly felt awkward and a little lost, not for long, but enough for me to notice the change in me.

How much are we a product of our living conditions and how much are we "pure" in our identity?

M AND M'S

My Kumu often refers to three M's when dancing Hula: Mele, Movement and Mana. Or easier put in English: Music, Movement and Magic. Mana and Magic are the words we use for that sacred synergy that comes within a group that creates things with love together. It is a positive energy - a powerful force - that fills us up so we can give more when we go back into our everyday lives. Within the Mele lies the symbolisms of the lyrics that reveals both the history of Hawaii and their very view on the world.

Marshak in his book "Covert Processes at Work" also speaks of M's when it comes to our communication. He labels them: Metaphor, Music, Movement and Media. In other words how we use our voices in a broader sense in order to create organizational culture and enable evolution enforcing our messages through imagery, tone, body language etc. We all do this naturally but what needs to be done is to increase our awareness of it, so we can use these tools in ways that enables empowerment and improvement for the greater good - align and recognize this language. These unseen Messages can never lie, our mouths can, but our bodies can't.

Practicing dance fine tunes our ability to communicate. I have sometimes met people who thinks I am doing a little of this and a little of that. To me it is the same thing, just in varied forms. The Hawaiians knew and lived this centuries ago. How come knowledge has to be written by authors with titles to be acknowledged?

How do you use your own M and M's?

Picture googled.

THE GIFT OF KNOWLEDGE

I had such a gratifying day today! As I was reading and completing my online assignment for Organizational Behavior class, I kept laughing as the book was so telling, so encouraging and so empowering and so explaining what I have been doing all my life.

"Covert Processes at Work" by Marshak deals with the shadow work that comes forth when change initiatives are taken in organizations. Not only do we have our own individual unconscious psychodynamic forces and emotions do deal with, but when put together in a group, the group itself enables roles and patterns to emerge and sometime solidify an unhealthy behavior that creates resistance to change and growth.

I noticed my ability to recognize covert processes already as a young girl when my parents were filing for divorce (to make a long story short) and quickly became the symptom bearer as well as the scape goat. This has haunted me ever since, as I often find myself having a need to heal and draw out what is hidden in the darkness of others in my relationships, both professionally and personally. Not always called for, but often thanked and justified some time afterwards as what comes out in the Light and dealt with comes into awareness and can be transformed into a strength. I am like the Wind.

Going back to college to finish my Masters Degree provides me with both validation and a sense of authority that I need in order to perform my duties at the level I am educated for. I am dealing with people's sensitivities and with that comes a responsibility. I want my clients to know that I both have the skills, the ethics and the foundation from which I operate. And regardless of what some of my competitors say about their own justifications because they are famous or took a Lifecoaching workshop over a week-end, I have a deepened understanding that encompass both wisdom and knowledge, paired with my own broad life-experiences, I can deal with tough issues and have the courage to state the truth as I see it, because I know what I am talking about - including my own shadow work of course.

Even more fun reading this book, I found it has so many similarities to Shamanism, I had to ask myself if the author isn't one himself. Probably a fellow Owl! Hoot, hoot! It is the bridge...

If you want to understand my work, yourself and what is going on in our western society today, I can strongly recommend this one. Easy to read too.

Other than that, my first Telluselle Living Center may actually manifest itself not in SF... but the south of India where my Indian mantra teacher already has bought a piece of land, having similar aspirations. You let go of one connection, another becomes stronger.

It is all about connecting through the Light.

LIVE HULA!

I love dancing Hula because it gives me a sense of place, a sense of belonging, a connection to God and Nature. When I dance I feel more present, beautiful and graceful. It softens my heart so I can love more.

Learning how to use the implements is a big challenge for me but I like to know there is more for me to learn.

I am extremely grateful to Kumu Jared Kukaho'omalu Souza who let me join his Halau in 2005 and showed me the difference between listening to your heart and being in your heart, at a time when I needed it the most.

The fact that I am one of only a handful Swedish people ever, who has been given this blessed opportunity makes me feel both proud and very humble.

When others have told me about how watching me dance Hula in real life, changed both how they themselves feel and the atmosphere in the room, it validated my own experience.

I am even more grateful to be accepted once again upon my return to the islands this year, with an even stronger teacher: Kumu Ka'ipo Kalua who helps me deepen the understanding and showing me the unspoken protocol that outside strangers never know, unless living here.

I am grateful that I can relate to the Hawaiians when it comes to not always been allowed to dance or feeling ridiculed because of it.

Hula combines the movement of energy such as I have learned in Qigong. It helps me revive my childhood dream of Ballet that twice was destroyed by others. My experience of African Dance provides me with the basic connection to Earth and Spirit through dance. Having been taught endless choreographies in Jazz, Showjazz, Contemporary, LA Jazz and Modern during the last twenty years, have helped me both learn the Hawaiian style and develop my own choreographies faster.

Dancing Hula soothes my Ego's strive to be seen at the same time it helps me to mature.

Hula takes me home.